Hello there my name is Jason Tantra and I’m really happy to chat with you today all about what is tantric sex. This is one of probably the most popular questions I get, the other one I get is isn’t Tantra all about not coming and the second one is what exactly is tantric sex. If you’re joining me today either you’re here on Facebook Live or you’re watching it later on one of my videos.

What I want to talk about specifically today is what is tantric sex and how does that differ from from normal sex or typical sex and I want to put some new ideas on the table. Now I’m kind of broadcasting this or kind of giving this to mainly my UK audience, and that’s because I’m doing a London weekend workshop on Saturday and Sunday the 27th and 28th of April and the theme of the weekend is  Ritual and Tantric Sex. If you like what you’re hearing about in today’s video, then do book yourself one of those places.

These are kind of some of the reasons why hearing today you kind of might be like oh where can I come and give this a go where can I give it a try. Come to my London weekend you’ll be very very welcome. I’d love to welcome and introduce you to some of the aspects of tantric sex.

I think one of the things just to say up front is that tantric sex is only a very small part of the overall practice of Tantra. If you look and I think people sometimes get a little bit overexcited with Tantra because it’s all to do with sex and it’s always promising better sex and amazing this and mind-blowing that. That’s all true, but actually for me the core reason or the core practice of Tantra is about being on a spiritual journey.

What I mean by being on a spiritual journey is not believing the story that we’ve been told, not believing everything that we see in front of us, but being curious about finding your own sense of truth. What do I mean by that? Well let’s just look at the idea of sex for a moment. So what we’re told about sex and where we get our information about sex is that it kind of follows porn. It’s like where do we learn about gay sex? We don’t have any educational programs, we don’t have any kind of nice ways of learning about sex.

For me I went to a Roman Catholic school in England, we had nuns. I can still do Kumbaya on the recorder, but my sex education was we dissected a rat.That was in the days before ethics. Before we dissected our rat, we’re all looking at it and then they said there’s their reproductive organs and then they talked about one bit going into the other bit and then they said and then that’s how humans do it and my teacher was bright red and that was the limit of my sex education.

So, it’s like where do we learn about sex and where do we learn. We go to porn, it’s kind of easy it’s not bad. But the thing is with porn and I have no no no beef with porn, but I think there’s something about getting clear about what porn is. Porn is basically designed to arouse. It does a very very good job. But they’re doing that, its job is to arouse and that for me can be different than what the purpose of you having sex might be.

Whilst porn is gray and I call it my digital support aid, we might be using that as we cuddle in pleasuring, but actually the sex that we see is done by porn performers. What I mean by porn performers is they are actually paid to perform sexual acts and to make them look great. You only need to dig around and see what some of the porn performers are saying about the work that they’re doing to know that actually what they’re portraying is not real.

It’s not like the real experience.  There’s people injecting their cock to get a hard-on for filming. Trust me it’s not all as rosy as ecstatic as it looks. Some of the porn that I’ve looked at, I think one of the things that really I find missing is what I talk about authentic connection.  There’s some porn out there, and they’re at it like rabbits and it’s super muscley, super sexy, super erotic, Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam and they’re just like going for their life.

Actually one of the things I’m feeling in my body is just not feeling connected and not feeling the connection between the two people. This is an important fact when we start thinking about the idea of tantric sex. But let me go back a little bit, because actually if you look at the idea of tantric sex, the reason for doing it is not the same reason that you would have sex.

Typically sex is oh my god I feel horny, this guy’s hot, let’s get off, and we’re gonna have a great time and it’s all grunt eager only sweaty or if after a few years it’s between the adverts on Coronation Street. But there’s just something about the intention; about I’m horny, I need to get off, he’s hot, he’s sexy, I kind of want to get off with him and I want to have an interaction.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m not saying that at all. What I’m  proposing is when you look at the idea of tantric sex, the intention is quite different. Tantric sex is a very very small sliver of the overall practice of Tantra. The rest of Tantra is made up of things like yoga of meditations we talk about energy work quite often.

For me, because I have a background as a psychotherapist, there’s a lot of processing about the experiences that you’re having: a lot of processing, a lot of understanding, a lot of questioning, so that the experiences that you have you can actually bring them to reality, bring them to your day-to-day, and live in a slightly different world or see the world actually from a slightly different perspective.

So the overall practice of Tantra is much more than the idea of tantric sex. When we think about the idea of tantric sex, I think for me one of the things that comes up is the idea of possibility and curiosity and being an adventurer because actually the things that you’re meeting in tantric sex are very different to what you is going on for you in typical sex.

For example, in typical sex it’s about the connection with the other person. You may be finding bits of them erotic or horny, they may be doing things to you that are feeling really good in your body, and it kind of ends there. And that’s kind of what the experience is, and then after a while one of you might cum, both of you might cum, neither of you might cum, but it kind of has that that type of ending.

What I’m proposing as tantric sex is a very different game, a different set of rules;  think of normal sex like Monopoly and tantric sex as being kind of something out of this world. What I mean by out of this world, is  I think when we talk about typical sex actually we’ve only been given one seventh of the story. What only one seventh of the story of tantric sex or total sex have we been given?

When we have sex, it’s all very physical –  grunty, groan, a sweaty bit of that going on hopefully. If we look at that from a perspective of the chakras, then those qualities are all to do with  the base chakra around your cock.

Have you ever had a bang or jerked off and just felt like it didn’t even really touch you, that kind of came but kind of there was just nothing going on, it was just like flat as a pancake. That can be because the sexual energy is all down in your base chakra, and there was nothing to expand there and so it just kind of stayed down there and was kind of a new kind of light experience – just like I was all alone, a fuss, and bother about nothing.

Yet, I don’t know if you’ve ever had those times in your life where you’ve had earth-shattering, oh my god, clawing the walls, screaming, orgasms. I don’t know if you’ve ever had one of those, If not come to my workshop,  I’m going to give you some techniques. And if you have, still come to my workshop because I can maybe offer you something more.

What’s the difference between an orgasm that’s not very likely; versus one where you’re like oh my god, oh my god, oh my god? What’s the difference, what’s making those two things? For me it could be that there’s a set of the person that’s there, but actually one of the questions I ask people is who is responsible for you having the best sex ever? Who’s responsible for that? And people go around, go it’s the other person. And I’m like, well actually no, you you are responsible for you having the best sex ever.

Actually just by learning some different techniques, and also reframing why you might be having sex, are really the only two things you need to have absolutely mind blowing, intergalactic interplanetary, kind of orbit tantric sex orgasmic experiences. And I’m going to talk a little bit about some of the experiences that you can have in tantric sex later.

I just want to finish on this idea of chakras. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard about chakras, but basically we’ve got seven of them and they each have a different quality and they’re a little bit like notes on a piano. The bass chakras is like a low sound whereas the crown chakra is a very very high sound and  all seven chakras are like notes in between those and they each have different qualities.

The base chakra is about earth, is like very earthy, very crunchy, very powerful. It’s your core sexual power here on planet Earth. Whereas your seventh chakra is all about being connected to the universe, being connected to everything that’s greater than you. The heart is all about connecting with love and profound loving in all of its different ways.

These seven chakras have seven different models, seven different frequencies and seven different qualities that once you learn about those then rather than just having one note on the piano of how you typically have sex you suddenly have got seven notes on the piano to start playing with.

Then if you were changing the intention of why you were having sex away from oh my god I’m horny, I need to get off, or oh my god he is horny and I want to get in more, I want him to get me off. If you put that to one side, although that energy is also really really useful, that’s going to kind of add rocket fuel to what’s happening. But actually for me tantric sex is about it being a spiritual journey – a spiritual journey of discovery and also a spiritual journey of curiosity, being curious about about what is potentially there.

The only way I can describe some of the experiences I’ve had in tantric sex,  is well kind of like if you think about it in a way like I’m Jason, I’m here on planet Earth and I’m living this life. I’m going around living, living living, living, living this life. And what can happen is you just completely buy into the idea that this is that life, this is the only, that is my life, that is who I am, that is everything.

We call that being really identified with that identity, with that persona. So like I’m Jason Tantra, I could be really over identified with the fact that this is me, but actually and that would open up another question about well who are you, who is really Jason is it my mind?

Maybe do this afterwards, I’m doing the quick version here. Is it my mind, is it my body, and it’s like what part of me still lives that exists when I’m dead that day that I croak? It’s all going to happen to all of us, what part of me is still living, what part of me is permanent.

For me that is a clue to tantric sex because tantric sex takes you out of your day to day identity and opens up the truth that is really there.  It’s like we forget moment to moment that we are a planet hurtling through our solar system, hurtling through space, I think it’s something like 33,000 miles per second or something ridiculous, but we are absolutely shooting through space and there is just as vast space of universes galaxies in numerable space that our minds can’t even begin to comprehend.

That for me is actually the truth of really what’s going on. We are all 7 billion souls who are revolving around this planet being very identified with what’s going on. But we’re kind of missing the big picture that we’re hurtling through space at the same time, and we’re like just a little bit of dust in this whole expanse of the universe. So for me there’s the thinking of this being we’re identified with, and that’s being everything that’s out there.

Typically when we have sex we only identify with this, but actually tantric sex is about both. It’s about what’s going on right in front of me here, and knowing that I am part of something far far far greater than. Actually tantric sex is a key too, if you look at different spiritual practices – yoga, meditation, plant medicine, other types of meditation, and other types of spiritual practices. What they’re what they’re all trying to do is to give you keys to unlock who you are beyond your day-to-day existence beyond your day-to-day identity because the truth is you are just so much more, you are so much more than you can actually comprehend, than you can actually understand.

Tantric sex for me is a key that helps you to unlock your energy to be far greater, far more powerful, far more bigger, far more just like everything. The truth is we are everything and yet, I am Jason that’s living a human existence I’m both this and that at the same time. Actually tantric sex is a magical key that unlocks the ability to see the truth of who you really are.

The key is in the different chakras and getting a resonance and an understanding about those different qualities. It’s also about using those and bringing them into union with another and both co-creating something that’s beyond words. I know when I’m having tantric sex I discover things, sensations, places, maybe experiences and for me these are all different vibrations of the universe. And another word for the universe for me is consciousness.

One of the ideas in modern spirituality is that the universe is consciousness and me as Jason on this planet is consciousness living itself through me, I am consciousness, I am that and it’s about me through my experience of Jason remembering who I truly am,  I am conscious, I am the universe.

We live our lives on this earthly plane in such a dense way because we get so bogged down by believing that our life is the whole of existence and you just only need to look up at night time to really disk for the truths that you are all of that as well.

I promise you you are all of that as well, and tantric sex is a key to unlock, to have that discovery. One of the things  about tantric sex is that it is a tool, it’s a vehicle for discovering who you really are, and discovering who you are in relationship with another.

If any of you’ve seen the tantric statue where it has this man and the woman and they’re meeting together in bliss? Well it’s actually the divine masculine and the divine feminine meeting together in union to experience enlightenment. Now people think enlightenment is just  something you can buy off a supermarket shelf, or it can feel like it’s something that you’re never going to attain in this life, I’ve got far too many bad points to be enlightened, but actually it’s neither of those.

I think we we need to maybe not think about enlightenment as a one-off event, but  imagine it being a state of consciousness and a state different states of awareness. What I mean by that is knowing certain things are true, not believing everything that’s put in front of you, questioning what’s going on. For me, not believing is awareness, that sense of knowing.

What you’re doing in tantric sex with your partner or partners or on your own, it doesn’t really matter, is that you’re exploring, you’re like on a space rocket and you’re doing intergalactic space travel. If you think that sounds a bit hookah cooky, have a look at some plant medicine journeys – they will absolutely you can kind of meet the same spaces, some of the things that you meet in peak spiritual experiences, are the same as absolute similarities like when we talk about the vibration of bliss.

Experiencing bliss it’s a very very common thing in all spiritual practices. For me the bliss is kind of the note of the universe, it’s everything. The ultimate bliss is the universal state of truth, and by doing silent meditation you can achieve it there but you can also achieve it at the peak of your orgasm.

Once you learn to play with orgasm and you learn to break orgasm down, then you can start to open yourself to different experiences that quite literally are intergalactic, are experiences that are beyond maybe anything you’ve ever experienced in traditional sex and it’s just so much more than who you are on a day-to-day basis it’s just so much broader so much bigger.

I’m really passionate because what I love about Tantra is that it’s a very grounded physical way of having deep spiritual expansive experiences that are just huge. For me in choosing a spiritual practice my sexual energy is just a way of opening me up and it’s far more entertaining than maybe silent meditation yoga is.

I hope you really enjoyed my chat with you today about what tantric sex is. It’s a very different portal of intention about why you’re having a connection and there’s some techniques and some ideas that I think can open up. The purpose of tantric sex for me is about absolutely expansion, absolutely about experiencing much much more.

I hope this gives you some ideas about tantric sex and hopefully it’s busted some myths for you too. Lots of love, I’m going to be talking to you again soon. Enjoy your day wherever you are. Take care, thank you, bye bye.